Golden Ticket
Agent: “I have sales contacts in the UK, and proxies who will sell to foreign language markets in Europe.”
Peat: “No shit.”
Agent: “Shit. All together, it won’t add up to the advance you got for the US sale, but you can make a tidy additional profit. My last client to do this had his book printed in 15 languages. Of course, it’s rare to do that well.”
Peat: “Rare. Right. Oh, well. I won’t get excited about it, then. Send it wherever you want.”
Agent: “OK. It will take a while for anything to happen. I’ve never in 20 years sold one before the book was printed in the US.”
Peat: “Which won’t be for like a year.”
Agent: “Yeah.”
Peat: “Whatever.”
That was a couple of weeks ago.
So I’m sitting in a boring meeting this morning about Multiple Sclerosis drugs.
Now, before you think me callous, please realize that I go to several meetings about MS a week, and none of it is about the patients. It’s all about marketing messages and prescribing habits of doctors. You would be bored to fucking death with it, too, if it didn’t make you sick.
Plus, I had a migraine. Someone threw out the fancy iced coffee I had left in the fridge on Monday, and I missed my daily caffeine dose. Before I knew it, I had the brewings of a major headache. I should have treated it last night, but I just decided to go to bed. Big mistake.
So I’m sitting in a conference room with picture windows, dozens of floors above Times Square. The view is awesome, the meeting is boring, and I feel like I have an icepick in my eye.
And my agent calls.
I stare at the phone frowning. It would be REALLY rude to take the call in the middle of the meeting, inconveniencing half a dozen other people for my own personal business.
So I grit my teeth, and let it go to voicemail:
Agent: “Call me right away!”
=click=
So I call him.
Agent: “Remember what I said about how you wouldn’t make a lot of money in the international market, and it would take a long time to sell?”
Peat: “Sure.”
Agent: “Well, forget all that. The editor at one of the big UK publishing houses locked herself in her apartment all weekend to finish your book. They want to buy all three books, and their first offer is bigger than your US first offer.”
Peat: “What?”
Agent: “The British Pound is very strong right now.”
Peat: “Er…”
Agent: “And this is just the first offer, and I haven’t even told the other UK publishers that they made the offer. You might have another big scramble to pick up the rights.”
Peat: “Dude. Are you shitting me?”
Agent: “No. And the UK isn’t even the biggest European market for fantasy. Germany’s the one to watch. Now that you have TWO solid offers that are each three times the going rate per book, the other markets will be sitting up and taking notice. And it means the publishers you DO have will be investing in things like window displays in bookstores.”
Peat: “Window displays?”
Agent: “Window displays.”
Peat: “Shit.”
I am totally in shock. I’ve been punch drunk and giddy all day.
So then I go to meet my US editor (who I told I have a blog, so she has probably googled and found it by now -Hi Liz! Welcome!) for lunch at a fancy restaurant (Publisher’s treat!). Didn’t really know what to expect there, either.
She was amazingly nice, and we hit it off right away. First we bonded about the restaurant and the food, and my upcoming vacation to Greece, and then it turns out we read a lot of the same comics and books, so we bonded as nerds, which was way more interesting. It was weird and natural, and almost businesslike. It was like we were assuring each other that we both spoke fluent nerd. Once we had that common language, we went right into discussing my books in geek speak, making references and using shorthand the muggles would never understand. We were practically just rolling 20-sided dice.
Then we shared industry stories, like the time Robert Jordan scolded me, and how George RR Martin’s inability to meet deadlines drives people to wild acts of madness to feed their Westeros addiction.
She wants to make some changes to the book, but amazingly, I agree with all of them, think she’s right, and can probably knock them out in a week.
Can you believe that? I was ready to draw a knife to protect my precious babies, and it turns out she treats them with the same loving-but-stern hand that I do.
Yesterday sucked, and who knows? Tomorrow may, too. But Today? Today, I feel like…
I never thought my life could be
Anything but catastrophe
But suddenly I begin to see
A bit of good luck for me’Cause I’ve got a golden ticket
I’ve got a golden twinkle in my eye
I never had a chance to shine
Never a happy song to sing
But suddenly half the world is mine
What an amazing thing
‘Cause I’ve got a golden ticket
[Spoken]
It’s ours, Charlie!
[Sung]
I’ve got a golden sun up in the sky
I never thought I’d see the day
When I would face the world and say
Good morning, look at the sun
I never thought that I would be
Slap in the lap of luxury
‘Cause I’d have said:
Charlie:
It couldn’t be done
Grandpa Joe:
But it can be done
I never dreamed that I would climb
Over the moon in ecstasy
But nevertheless, it’s there that I’m
Shortly about to be
Grandpa Joe and Charlie:
‘Cause I’ve got a golden ticket
I’ve got a golden chance to make my way
And with a golden ticket, it’s a golden day
Grandpa Joe:
[Spoken]
Good morning, look at the sun!
Grandpa Joe and Charlie:
[Sung]
‘Cause I’d have said,
It couldn’t be done
Grandpa Joe:
But it can be done
I never dreamed that I would climb
Over the moon in ecstasy
But nevertheless, it’s there that I’m
Shortly about to be
‘Cause I’ve got a golden ticket
Grandpa Joe and Charlie:
‘Cause I’ve got a golden ticket
I’ve got a golden chance to make my way
And with a golden ticket, it’s a golden day