Tea Party
So it looks like there won’t be any Little League games or GI Joe wars in my immediate future, but tea parties and stuffed animals? There’ll be no shortage of those.
We went to the fancy doctor’s office with the million dollar hi-res sonogram machine, and took at look at little Squirmy Brett, particularly between the legs. I’ll spare you the gory details; let’s just say the nursery will be decorated in a Wonder Woman theme instead of Batman.
This comes as no surprise to me. I have always known it would be a girl. Not sure HOW I knew, but I just sensed it. No matter how many children I have, they will all be girls. I am doomed to be the only man in a house full of women. I just know it.
Luckily, I like women. A lot.
The best part is, Dani, even though she knows I am always right, was doof enough to bet me that it was a boy. Now she has to bake me a cake. Hah! Suck it, baby momma! Get in the kitchen!
Using state of the art 3D ultrasound, we were able to get digital images of our -4 month old bundle of joy. We saw her make a little fist, and punch Dani in the stomach with it. We saw her suck her little thumb, and kick her foot over her head like Trinity from the Matrix. I think she’s going to be a kickboxer one day. That chick is limber.
I can’t even begin to explain what it’s like to sit there and see your baby’s little fingers and toes and all 4 chambers of her rapidly beating heart. I hope that heart beats nonstop for another hundred years.
Except when she falls in love. She’s allowed to skip one beat when that happens. It’s a special moment.
But enough of my blather. Let take a look at the photos!
Whoa, that is awesome. Looks like a beauty.
I must say I am not surprised it is a she either.
Congrats, Daddy-o.
First of all, there wouldn’t have been any Little League games in your future anyway, cos you hate Little League.
Second, you will be THRILLED to play tea-party with your baby girl. Your heart will explode as she offers you imaginary cakes and introduces you to her stuffed animal friends. You’ll kvell beyond belief.
Third, who’s to say our daughter won’t play with GI Joes? I played with Matchbox cars and Star Wars toys! And look: I landed myself a nice, successful nerd who impregnated me with a healthy little girl who can follow in her nerd-magnet-mother’s footsteps. It’s the Circle of Nerd Life.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where’s my cake?
Congratulations!
Little girl’s are awesome. Just don’t let her convince you to give her a cupcake for breakfast after her mother tells her No. Because, believe me, she will try!
I should proofread before I submit.
Mmmmm… cupcakes.
Did you know Dani has to bake me a cake? Not a cupcake, though. The regular kind.
I was a Masters of the Universe girl myself – start training her for roller derby now!
She’s beautiful. Congratulations, you guys.
Look, there’s no reason Squirmetta can’t play GI Joe. It’s just now Scarlett, Lady Jay, and the Baronness will be calling the shots.
I agree that you will probably be cursed to have all daughters… but only because it will be funny to watch you evolve into a father instead of a guy who says lascivious things like “I like women. A lot,” in the same breath as “Yay I’m having a daughter.” Usually while fish-eying some chick’s boobages.
At least once in the next few years we will have to dress our girls as The Power Puff Girls for Halloween.
It feels like she’s doing roller derby inside my stomach! Especially on my bladder!
She’ll be Buttercup, just like her mom! 🙂
GI Joe used to be Barbie’s “boyfriend” in my house. Only, he was really short and only stood as tall as her chest. I bet he liked it, though.
If she’s like her mom, she’ll be Bubbles.
Excellent news. I was so excited for you guys when I saw your text.
And it doesn’t mean there won’t be action figures (not dolls) in her little life. Just as they’ll be books, comics and great cartoon watching for years to come. Well, we gotta try.
All the best. I say, let the little ones eat cake!
Everybody needs to FOCUS. I mean, we’re all excited that it’s a girl, but first things first – Where’s the CAKE?
I’m baking tomorrow! Sheesh! Everyone’s being such a nudge!
that’s amazing. imagine the olden days when we didn’t know what our babies looked like until they actually came out.
congratulations 🙂
I was perfectly happy being Scarlett and Cheetara, so i don’t know what you’re griping about. Congrats you two. She’s gorgeous.
I’m not really griping. Whether it’s playing She-Ra: Princess of Power or passing a plate of imaginary crumpets to Raggedy Andy, I will love it all the same.
I don’t know if you will be playing She-Ra, it’s before her time. Kid’s cartoons aren’t what they were when we were kids.
Did you know that even Cookie Monster rarely eats cookies anymore? He’s trying to be more healthy. He’s Cookie Monster for crying out loud, we should expect him to gobble plates and plates of cookies.
Ok, Sorry, that’s my rant for the day.
Does he go to CA (Cookies Anonymous) meetings, where he’s like, “Hi, my name is Cookie Monster, and I’m addicted to cookies.”?
Now I want a cookie!
Cookies schmookies. Don’t get distracted from the cake.
Oh, the cake’s been cooked and eaten already. Where were you?
It was delicious.
You ate an entire cake in one weekend?
Oh, I had help. Believe me.
The RISK nerds gathered last weekend like beer-swilling, cake-eating vultures.
Why do I always just let Dan take Australia right at the outset of the game? Can someone please tell me? No good ever comes of it.
This sucks. All the cool people are playing RISK at your place. I’ve gotta move to New York.
Isn’t the concept of “cool people playing risk” an oxymoron?
You’re an oxymoron.
Minus the “oxy”.
Zing!