The Coolest Goddamn Thing I Ever Saw

Scientists in Silicon Valley have genetically engineered bacteria to eat waste and excrete carbon-negative crude oil.

If this is true, it’s the coolest fucking thing in the world.

Genetic engineering has always fascinated me, both as a science fiction fan/writer, and as a member of the human race. It has been around for tens of thousands of years, since mankind first domesticated animals and began sowing plants. But recently, as it has in all aspects of science, genetic engineering has leapt forward, hinting at limitless potential to help mankind raise itself out of the primitive muck it is still mired in before our brief chance at existence snuffs out.

Creating bacteria that can eat waste and poop beneficial materials has been the holy grail of genetic engineers for some time, and there have been spectacular successes and heartbreaking failures. But this, this could change the entire fucking world.

Think of it. No more dependence on foreign oil. No more $4 gas. Oil becomes a limitless, renewable resource, and we spare the planet all the carbon emissions previously used in drilling and refineries. And if there’s still too much carbon? Who cares! We’ll just engineer some bugs that eat carbon and poop chocolate.

Of course, there’s always the chance that the bacteria would overbreed and escape into the environment, eating all the carbon and wood in the world. What an oily, chocolately mess that would be.

There’s a story in there somewhere. Too bad I don’t have time to write it.

Posted on June 16, 2008 at 7:02 pm by PeatB
Filed under Musings
2 Comments »

2 responses to “The Coolest Goddamn Thing I Ever Saw”

  1. As the folks on Slashdot say, “What could possibly go wrong?” (Neal Stephenson’s Zodiac offers one answer to that question…)

    Posted by Jon S, on June 17th, 2008 at 1:09 am
  2. Let’s invent a bacteria that consumes (insert funny noun here) and poops (insert funny noun here).

    Forget the potential for improving the human condition. It’s the potential for humor that’s limitless here.

    Posted by Myke, on June 17th, 2008 at 4:56 pm