The Hardest Chapter
Yesterday I finished the Chapter From Hell.
There are some chapters that fly by, my fingers a blur as they race across the keys, still not keeping up with my mental dictation. They are crystal clear in my mind’s eye, and take about as long to write as they do to read.
Other chapters… do not. I strain and struggle just to make my piddling minimum writing quota of 1,000 words a day, and often fail at even that. I stare at the screen, willing the words to come, but nothing does, and my mind searches for an escape; checking e-mail, reading the news, playing Jawbreaker on my phone, going to the bathroom, getting a snack, anything I can find to put off the torture for a few minutes. Or an hour. Or a day.
I can’t even figure out why this is, sometimes. Action scenes almost always fall into the former, easy-to-write category, unless something horrible is happening as I temper one of my main characters, but plenty of other scenes do, too. The ones where the characters’ motivations are so clear that the scene thrums with an emotional resonance that I can almost nod my head to like a backbeat as I type.
But that emotional beat, the rhythm that makes scenes compelling and believable, is elusive at best. Sometimes characters just have to get from point A to point B, and I need to force the reasoning for it, and the emotional drivers that make it happen. Or I need to create new characters for a scene, and then find harmony in their emotional rhythms with those of my established characters.
It’s really fucking hard.
I’ve been working on chapter 15 of The Desert Spear for months. Literally. It’s a Rojer and Leesha chapter, for those of you that that means anything to, and try as I might, it was toneless.
Sometimes I just need to take a break when this happens, and come back to the chapter with fresh eyes. I tried this, taking time to write The Great Bazaar, a 14,000 word novelette to be included with the UK deluxe version of The Painted Man. I knocked that out in 2 weeks, including a a full rewrite and several rounds of minor revisions. Chapter 15 came in at less that 10,000 words, and it took me 5 times as long just to get a first draft out.
I’m proud of the result. I really am. I took a turd and somehow polished it into a bright sheen. But it wasn’t easy, it wasn’t fun, and it left me drained and grouchy every time I threw up my hands at 3am and decided I couldn’t look at it anymore.
I wanted to take a break from writing entirely afterwards. I told myself that if I just managed to finish that bitch chapter before the baby came, I could take a month off from working with a clear conscience and focus on late-night feedings and staring into Cassandra’s little eyes.
But little Cassie isn’t here yet, and I know I should keep working until she is. It might be a week yet before the blessed bundle of screaming, pooping joy arrives. I need to get ahead as much as possible.
So I took care of some other business. Some website sent me a request for information so they could list me in their SF author directory. Harper Voyager Australia wanted me to submit some entries for their blog. People who have been reading advance copies of PM have been writing me, and I’ve been writing long and multiple replies, overjoyed that people seem to be digging it.
But I caught up on all that, even sending more entries to Voyager than I originally planned, so they can post them at their leisure while I am out of commission. I ran out of excuses not to work more on Desert Spear.
So I created a new chapter file, and synched it to my phone. I went through the stepsheet, familiarized myself with what needed to happen, and started writing.
I took a breather what seemed like a moment later, and looked at the clock. An hour had passed, and I had written close to 1700 words, which is about 5 pages. Just like that. Finished a scene, beginning to end.
Why can’t it always be that easy?
It is really something to read this, and sit here and experience through your tale, what it takes to get some chapters done. Especially the difficult ones. It’s really something. I spent all day in front of someone else’s manuscript and I can only imagine what went into it. Thanks for sharing.
Why can’t it always be that easy?
Apparently you have to earn the good writing karma. “When you temper your characters in the novel, the novel also tempers you” or something. Glad to hear you had an easy day.
I guess when you consider some of the things I do to my characters, it serves me right.
Seriously, dude. I if were Leesha, I’d be pissed. Hell, if I were One-Arm, I’d be pissed.