Giveaway: Demon Puns!
Posted by Karen
Hello everyone! Our last Warded Wednesday Giveaway had some really great feedback. Everyone’s answers were so creative and fantastic. So, naturally, we’re going to keep doing it.
This week’s giveaway is a great chance to let our your inner comedian. Just leave us a comment with your best (or worst) demon pun!
The prize for the best pun will be…
These puns can be anything: Wordplay, comebacks, spoonerisms, daffynitions, or anything else you can think of! Jokes and riddles will also be accepted.
Remember, we can only pick your answer if you respond to our post on the blog. Let us know which demon you wouldn’t want to meet in the night, and have fun with it! We can’t wait to hear your answers.
Giveaway answers will be accepted until Monday. The winner will be announced Tuesday.
Except for this contest, The Warded Man hardcover is now available online only! Check it out on Amazon or Books-A-Million.
Which demons really really really like the subjunctive?
Why, the Would Demons of course!
The Jongleur of my village tells a story little known to the wider world. A story of a rock demon of incredible strength and power. The demon was always smiling and picking up boulders in an attempt to add to his enormous bulk and his core spawned strength. Lift and drop. Lift and drop. Always with his terrible grin. Most other demons had fled the surrounding area in search of prey not scared off by this routine and to be well clear of his odd habits. One day a horrible sickness came and many of our fine citizens were laid up in the hospit. And when night fell upon the village so too did the terrible rock demon. He took up one of his great boulders and smashed a ward post so that he could enter the village. Remember all the other demons shied away from his grinning bulk so he was the only one that entered the village that night. He approached the hospit and grinned. He then stood for sketches with all the sick and gave them imprints of his great spiked hands in soft clay. He did handstands and great feats of strength for our amusement. He juggled the children and let his dark core magic take away their illness. And he grinned yet now his grin did not menace us but instead brought us joy.
So you see this is the tale of the mythical demon Jongleur who tells this story to all the children of the core. The tale of Dwayne ‘The Rock Demon’ Johnson.
What do you call an angry one armed rock demon with a penchant for slamming into things?
Rick Allen.
Why do coreling’s love the Bourne series?
They’re fans of Matt Demon.
In the last days of Thesa, and an army was formed that proved unaffected my Mind Demons, for the demons had no fodder with which to feed.
They called this army Congress.
The worst problem Arlen has to deal with when fighting in public while wearing his loincloth is morning wood demons.
Everyone talks about the heroics of Arlen “Bales”, Garred “Cutter”, and Leisha “Paper”, but where are the songs for “Frank Shitshoveler” (Sorry I know that last one isn’t demon related.)
What do you call a demon that materialises near Brayan’s Gold and knows nothing? A Jon Snow Demon.
Did hear about the man running a stall in the bazaar? He’s khaffit!
Jardir and Leesha are sitting in his chambers, discussing the attack by the Mind Demon..
‘He really needed to MIND his manners’ said Jardir.. ‘No pun, intended’.
(Yeah this goes under ‘worst’ pun)
Leesha: “Why won’t this jar of spaghetti sauce open? Can you open this jar dear?”
Jardir: “Roger that.”
Rojer: “What?”
Jardir: “No. Not you. I was-”
Leesha: “Got it!”
Jardir: “Awsome!”
Asome: “What dad?”
Leesha: “Oh no, I spilt it all over us Jardir”
Inevera: “Look Jardir, it’s all over your Chin. It is Inevera”
Abban: “As cold as a snow demon”
Asome: “What did you say?!”
Inevera: “Enough! Abban, did you bank the money?”
Abban: “I’ll bank demon-ey tomorrow”
(I got too excited and didn’t notice it had to be demon puns until the end. Oops. haha)
Tibbet’s Brook was relieved to finally get wireless internet – it meant they no longer needed to worry about the cored (cord).
Arlen was so relieved when he cut of the rock demons arm. Being always dissatisfied with his lot, he had finally found his true coreling.
Ever abstinent, The Painted man has a secret. His fear of wood demons always did scare him from any romantic encounter.
Everam I defending these alagai-tions of being a tyrrant. I put these people to death because they inevara-bly mispronounce my name! It’s “a man as who has come in, am Jardir, am Kaki.” Bad English, I know, but it’s supposed to be a little Krasia than usual.
I was out after curfew;
darting between ward circles,
frightened of the darkening night.
I was just ducking around the tavern
when something unnoticed gave me quite the fright.
It leapt from the dark,
It’s wings raised aloft,
and I felt my bowels turn to water.
Thankfully thugh twas no wind demon at all
But a drunkard. Perhaps slightly shorter
The man giggled gleefully, relief filled my heart,
and he suddenly let out a long, silly fart.
You might not believe, and I’m not sure you can,
My wind demon assailant was a windy old man!
Question: You are on an island with only demons and angels.
Angels can only tell the truth,
Demons can only lie.
You ask Person A if they are a demon or angel
Person A mumbles something you don’t understand.
You ask Person B what Person A said
Person B: He said he’s a demon
Person C: Don’t trust him, he’s lying!
What is person C? Angel or Demon?
Answer: Neither a demon or an angle can say” I’m a demon”
A demon would be telling the truth if he said it (impossible)
and an angel would be lying if he said it (impossible)
Thus, Person B is lying when he says that Person A said he’s a demon
Person B must be a demon
And person C is telling the truth when he says that Person B is lying