Progress and Tempering
Despite several major upheavals in my personal life, and a long period of adjustment to my new lifestyle, I have finally managed to get my writing back on track.
Writing full time is weird. Sometimes, it feels like like it is always the weekend. Other times, it feels like it never is. I vacillate between feeling like I am never at work, and feeling like I never LEAVE work. I have complete freedom to goof off and/or deal with issues and projects in my personal life, but I know I better not overdo it, because I have deadlines, and I want to show that I can meet them, even if a lot of authors don’t. Because of this, my attention span for things like TV, books, and movies, is seriously damaged. I feel this huge sense of guilt if I’m not writing, even when I feel creatively burnt out, and need a recharge and influx of someone else’s creativity to inspire me.
A couple of weeks ago I made an oath to write 5,000 words in a week (really, a very modest goal). I thought I had, but a word count later put me at 4977. Close enough for horseshoes and hand grenades, perhaps, but I was very angry with myself. I promised to do better the next week, and each week after, until I leveled out.
Last week I definitely did better, coming in at 7151 by midnight Saturday. This week I had a lot of distractions, but I powered through most of them and was ahead of schedule most of the week. So far I am at 7169, more than last week, and I still have today to knock out some more. I want to hit 8K at least.
I think part of the reason I’ve been slow up till now was that there were sections of the story I was avoiding. The violent, horrible parts. It’s one thing to write action. I find that effortless most of the time. But there is a difference between action, where your hero(ine) gets in a fight or a fix and manages to get out of it, and… what I call tempering.
Tempering is all the horrible things you have to do to your hero(ine) in order to make them strong enough, driven enough, focused enough, to stand up to the trials you have in store. Spider-man lost his uncle because of his own greed and selfishness. Batman watched his parents murdered before his eyes. Frodo has to flee everything he loves and is stabbed on Weathertop.
I am a big believer in tempering. I think a hero needs to be special. They need to have something that other people in the world don’t have, and more than that, I think they need to EARN it. A lot of authors skip the tempering. Their hero(ine)s are just special because they are special, no further explanation necessary. They fell ass-backwards into power and the thick of things, tripping over a genie lamp or finding the magic belt of whatsis, and they’re ready for their adventure. You can tell a passable story that way, but it can never be as satisfying as one where you let the reader invest in the character through their failures and watch them learn and grow and become the kind of person that can’t just be pushed around.
But that said, when I have lovingly created a character, and I know they are a good person with hopes and dreams and loves, it hurts me as much as anyone to kill their parents, or have them beaten, or raped, or scarred. To starve them, or have them betrayed by those they trust most. To turn my back on them when they are left crying in the dirt, naked and bloody. Even when it’s for their own good. Even when I know there’s a storm coming, and they won’t survive it unless they’re at the top of their game, tempered by suffering and pain, dedicated to their goals to the exclusion of all else.
It makes me feel like the parent who intentionally gives their kid chicken pox when they’re young so they don’t get it when they’re old.
At World Fantasy a couple of months ago, George RR Martin discussed how hard it was for him to write the Red Wedding in A Storm of Swords. If you’ve read his Song of Fire and Ice series, you know exactly what I mean. If you haven’t, shame on you. Get to it.
Anyway, a fan asked if it was hard to write the scene, because she was so upset by it she threw the book across the room and cried for a long time before she could pick it up again and continue reading. He replied that he finished the entire 900+ page book before writing that scene, because he kept putting it off; it was too emotional, even for him.
“But that’s what I’m trying to do,” he said. “I’m not trying to tell you a cozy story. I’m trying to mess with your emotions and make you really FEEL what’s happening in this world.”
No one tempers like Martin. Not everyone can write on that level, but I feel we should all aspire to.
I hate tempering. I hate reading tempering. Even worse for me is reading tempering that does not eventually result in the protagonist winning/getting what he wants.
That is when tempering becomes tragedy.
Tragedy can make GREAT literature. But it still kills me, because it reminds me that real life can also be tragic. I want my reading to help me believe that life is, ultimately, just; that the hardships we suffer are always for a greater good; that we get out come uppance in the end.
But that’s not really true, is it?
Welcome to being a grownup. It sucks.
If you come to your reading seeking only to reinforce what you already believe, or worse, what you WANT to believe, then what’s the point? Every life is full of tragedy and triumph. Without the depths of one, how could we measure the heights of the other?
But don’t worry. It’ll be okay. Next time you visit we’ll have a beer and watch The Empire Strikes Back. It’s ALL tempering, and still probably the best movie ever made.
Don’t get me wrong, I read tempering and tragedy, even seek it out. It just kills me.
You’ve seen me temper my protagonist. I know how important it is.
And yeah, ESB is awesome.
*tugs Peat’s sleeve like a small child*
Is there anyway to subscribe to this new blog of yours or do I jut have to randomly check your site all the time like I have been?
Hm. I thought there was, but I guess I was wrong. I just added a widget called “meta” in the sidebar, which should have working feeds.
Sorry. Learning as I go…